"When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I stole one, and asked him to forgive me."
-- Emo Philips

The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it.
-- H L Mencken

Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
-- Robert Anton Wilson

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
-- Lily Tomlin

I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth.
-- Carl Sandburg

Men rarely (if ever) dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child."
-- Robert Heinlein

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
-- Bertrand Russell

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day.
Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
--Timothy Jones

So Dubya goes to war because god told him to.
There's a woman down in Texas who bashed in her kid's skulls for the same reason.
-- Ed Krebs