The man who has no mind of his own lends it to the priests.
-- George Meredith, 1909

"The towers are gone now, reduced to bloody rubble. Make no mistake about it: We are At War now -- with somebody -- and we will stay At War with that mysterious Enemy for the rest of our lives. It will be a Religious War, a sort of Christian Jihad, fueled by religious hatred and led by merciless fanatics on both sides. Guerilla warfare on a global scale, with no front lines and no identifiable enemy. All Bush knows is that his father started the war a long time ago, and that he, the goofy child-President, has been chosen by Fate and the global Oil industry to finish it."
-- Hunter S. Thompson, published Sept 12, 2001

"When you're born in the world you're given a ticket to the freak show; when you're born in America you're given a front-row seat."
-- George Carlin , comedian 1937-2008

"If you can't beat 'em, report them to Homeland Security and they'll beat them for you."
-- Stephen Colbert

"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully."
-- Richard Dawkins

"Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely. It is commercial, imperialistic, ruthless. It tolerates no opposition. It is just as arrogant, just as despotic, in London, or in Washington, as in Berlin. The American Jingo is twin to the German Junker�. If there is no sufficient reason for war, the war party will make war on one pretext, then invent another."
--Robert M. La Follette

Mythology is what we call someone else�s religion.
-- Joseph Campbell

In the Judeo-Christian tradition, we always look to the Bible as a guide. In this example, your teenage son has returned home from the prom intoxicated. The Bible's instruction is:

1. Sit him down for a heart to heart talk
2. Enroll him in AA
3. Take away his driving privilege for one month
4. Smash his head in with rocks
-- (answer = 4)